Tuesday, April 13, 2004
from sem1 studiomate's blog. quite fun and........ below is the comment given by another sem 1 studio mates an some other people.
after thursday i ll update my blog by writing a lot :)
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the
rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report
says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one
cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine
cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an
ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to
Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
A PHILIPPINE CORPORATION
You have one cow. Imelda Marcos made your other one into several dozen
pairs of loafers.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
A NUS Corporation
You have two cows. Both are imported from China.
Singapore - you have 2 cows...one's local and the other from overseas....they juz milk each other till death..... in the end..you have no cows...bleah...
Singapore:
you have two cows; they refuse to breed. You still have two aging cows.
SGP:
u hv 2 cows. they refuse to breed cos 20yrs ago, the farmer thought they shd stop at 1. now, farmer changed his mind n want them to produce more calfs but they refuse to so farmer now has to come up with incentives to make them mate?!
after thursday i ll update my blog by writing a lot :)
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the
rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report
says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one
cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine
cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an
ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to
Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
A PHILIPPINE CORPORATION
You have one cow. Imelda Marcos made your other one into several dozen
pairs of loafers.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
A NUS Corporation
You have two cows. Both are imported from China.
Singapore - you have 2 cows...one's local and the other from overseas....they juz milk each other till death..... in the end..you have no cows...bleah...
Singapore:
you have two cows; they refuse to breed. You still have two aging cows.
SGP:
u hv 2 cows. they refuse to breed cos 20yrs ago, the farmer thought they shd stop at 1. now, farmer changed his mind n want them to produce more calfs but they refuse to so farmer now has to come up with incentives to make them mate?!
